The great toilet paper shortage of 2020

Here’s something for those who have stashed away 10 years worth of toilet paper and are wondering wtf do I do with all this?

https://auspost.com.au/shop/product/toilet-paper-blaster-31826

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most relevant way to flex on the don’t have’s :mask:

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Be next on the ban list. Looks like a military rifle from 3020 and uses a precious resource

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Lol, you’re not kidding about precious resource.
I get regular e-mails from Coles with all their latest specials and promotions. This one from the CEO half hour ago -

"ENSURING ALL COLES CUSTOMERS HAVE ACCESS TO TOILET PAPER
Following the unprecedented demand for toilet paper we reluctantly introduced a temporary 4 pack limit last week. Unfortunately, many stores are still selling out within an hour of delivery.

1 PACK LIMIT PER CUSTOMER PER SHOP
We have therefore made the decision to change the limit to 1 pack per customer so that toilet paper is available for more of our customers, particularly the elderly and people who are unable to purchase in large volumes.

We have asked our suppliers to focus on increasing production of larger pack sizes and we are prioritising the delivery of these packs to our stores, as a pack of 30 rolls should last an average family for around 3 weeks.

We are grateful to our team members and suppliers who are working tirelessly to do the best job possible under the circumstances, and we thank our customers for their understanding and support.

Yours sincerely,
Steven Cain
Chief Executive Officer
Coles Group"

Stores selling out 1 hour after truck delivery!!
FFS, this is Australia!!! What is wrong with these people?

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What asshats! Everyone knows the only cure to corona virus is toilet paper AND that and it’s the most nutrient dense per gram food on the planet.
They want to limit people to one pack each? I bet that CEO wanker sleeps on a bed of fresh toilet paper every night, his kids probably go to a school made out of it while he sits in his office getting BJs from his “assistant” with conference rooms full of toilet paper just for the cleanup.

It sickens me to think they have all the bog roll in the world and we just have supermarkets with full shelves of everything EXCEPT the shitter sheets. Its almost like they did this on purpose to gauge the public’s response to a contrived shortage…

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I’ve got these for $10 each. A bit steep I know but a dudes gotta make a living (by taking advantage of complete idiots)

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Literally crying laughing at this.
Absolutely comedy gold!!

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Fucking idiots… You’re 700 times more likely to die in a car accident driving to the shops to horde fucking toilet paper than from catching the virus…

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Crackpot tinfoil beanie conspiracy theory of the week… :joy:

"The CoVid19 virus isn’t harmful to us because we’re human… it’s harmful to the reptilian aliens living amongst us. The reason why toilet paper’s so important is because a chemical used in it’s manufacture is like a CoVid19 vaccine to the reptilians. That’s why it’s in demand. "

So next time you’re punchin’ on with someone over shit tickets at Woolies, better be careful… he might have a little white tip on the end of every one of his turds… :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

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The other thing that cracks me up is the local Aldi has no canned food. EXCEPT for beetroot. I guess idiots that panic buy stuff for no logical reason don’t like beetroot.

BEETROOT is the new IQ test it seems. If you eat it, you’re not a f*ing idiot…

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It is very difficult to enforce, increases stress on staff and gives nutters another excuse to confront other shoppers.
It’s almost as dumb as printing tshirts with ANZAC logos without authorisation.

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Meanwhile…

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HAHA I love beetroot, I’ll be right then!

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I got plenty of things to wipe my arse on, the Advertiser being one. :rofl:

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Got a couple of these hanging around in the shed…

Put 'em up on ebay, let the bidding carnage begin! :joy:

Seriously, someone’s house was broken into and the only thing taken was… you guessed it… shit tickets :rofl::rofl:

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how much you want minimum?

Ah, this stuff’s priceless, man! :joy:

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